Madagan’s encounter with a Lady of the Night

“Yoo fancy taking Polly up the back alley do yer?” enquired Polly vampishly.

“Shouldn’t doubt it” I replied, for I was feeling pretty bullish about everything.

“Right then, it’s a deaner for madge, double for blind cupid, or tuppence to plugtail me kettle drums.”

“I’m afraid I rarely gamble” I told her, wondering where in that flimsy garment she found room to hide a pack of cards.

“In which case yud be best off plugtailing me kettle drums” said Polly.

Polly slipped from sight. I became aware of a slight chill below the shirt tails. There was a momentary pause. Then a scream. This scream was of the sort let out by the gentler sex when seeing something unexpected in the water closet – like a spider, or a mouse, or a man with a meat cleaver. I looked down to see Polly spread-eagled across the cobblestones.